The only thing stopping a lot of men from checking the paternity of their children is the cost of the test. Somehow, DNA tests have become the order of the day. Some men look at their lovely children and wonder if they are their biological fathers. This is both hilarious and scary.
While in secondary school, I believed that DNA tests only existed in Biology textbook, notebook, exam question paper and exam script. I knew then that there was something called DNA and another one called RNA. But what they actually mean has never been my concern. My only interest then was to pass my Biology exams. But today, every Tom, Dick and Harry knows about the DNA test because the world is beginning to question the fidelity of wives.
It is quite funny that all of a sudden men decided to ensure that the children that bear their names are actually theirs biologically. It may be necessary if these men should go home and ask if they belong to their fathers. Maybe when they do this, they will understand the damaging effects of demanding for their children’s paternity tests.
Of course I know that none of the men dragging their children and wives to hospitals for this test will be courageous enough to ask of their own status.
I know some people will say that I stand against men checking their children’s paternity because I am a woman. No problem. Any woman that kicks against this has been tagged with several vile names. Both men and women waste no time to tell her that she is unfaithful to her husband and is, therefore, unsure of her children’s father. Hence, she fights against paternity tests to protect her crimes. Well, that still won’t change the fact that opting for that test, when it is not needed to sort out legal issues, is damaging.
Damaging Effects of Demanding for a Child’s Paternity Test
The effects of this act will be considered under its effect on the child, the wife and the man.
- Effects on the Child
No child will want to hear that the man he calls “Father” is questioning whether he has the right to call him such a name. You can imagine the psychological trauma that child will pass through when he finds out that his father once questioned his paternity. It is untrue to say that the child won’t know because he will definitely understand later that the sample collected from him at a particular time in his life was because his father needed a piece to decide whether to provide for him or not. Believe me, a lot of people ignore their fathers these days because they, their fathers, once questioned their paternity. Men that made this mistake regret it at their old age, when they realise that it takes more than mere sperm donation to have a child. Unfortunately, the cycle is repeating, showing that the future will produce more adults that hate their fathers.
- Effects on Wife
No woman takes joy in proving her innocence. The fact that their husbands suspect them of infidelity breaks them. For the rest of their lives, they will always talk about their husbands’ suspicion and accusations. It is inconsolable. So when women kick against their husbands asking for their children’s DNA testing, it may not be because they have something to hide but because of the reason behind it. It is an act of betrayal, and no one wants to be betrayed. And when a woman is betrayed, it is hard to say what she will do next.
- Effects on Men
Sometimes I wonder what these men that spend their hard earned money on their children’s paternity test pass through. Do they have sleepless nights, wondering if the woman lying beside them cheated on them? Do they look at their children with fear that they may not be theirs? Or do they look at them with looting, hoping that the test will give them a reason to kick them out of their lives? These men obviously placed themselves at tight corners. No wonder we hear of the ones that kill their wives and children because a piece of paper told them so. Truth is, any man that looks at the lovely children in his home and wonder if they deserve him, actually doesn’t deserve those children. In fact, those children should be taken away from him even if DNA tests declare him as their biological father.
You know, the Igbo culture isn’t stupid to declare every child born in a man’s household as his. Obviously the forefathers must have seen the damaging effects of questioning a child’s paternity and, therefore, declared that every man must inherit a child born for him (including the ones born by his unmarried daughters). It is time we stop westernising family lives and think of how to bring back our culture because it is there to protect us.
But like I stated earlier, any man that still wants to conduct DNA testing for his children, should be courageous enough to question his own paternity. Let the golden rule apply here. If you would have been happy that your father questioned your paternity, then go ahead and question that of your children. Remember not to complain when the monster you created comes back to haunt you.