Today was another Saturday, Saturdays are days that have been earmarked as a marriage day in Nigeria and I can bet that there were hundreds (if not thousands) of couples that got wedded today.
Marriage is a beautiful institution; backed by God, backed by nature and almost all religions and cults support the idea of a man and woman legally joined to become husband and wife, but It is my personal opinion which is from an informed standpoint that, as a man in your twenties and even early thirties unless you are financially stable you should never think of marriage yet, you should instead look for money first, marriage can always wait.
Remember it like yesterday when I was in my early twenties, my parents were always reminding me that they got married while they were my age, I do remind them also that what was obtainable at that time when they got married is no longer the case now; things are more brutal now in every ramifications.
It is a big risk for a man who can barely feed himself to jump into marriage with the hope that maybe he will get blessed and his living conditions will improve once he gets married. I always hear the myth that once you marry doors will open for you, that even if you were poor and struggling, you’d become rich once you marry, the religious folks always back up this assertion with the Bible verse that says, “he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord (Prov 18:22) but it is really a big gamble and big risk to take. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen it happen, I have seen people who are close to me who were once struggling blow up immediately after they got married although I cannot tell if the instant success was tied to the new marriage, I would love to believe so but it is a big gamble.
How dare you even think of getting married when you are still struggling hoping that God will bless you once you get married. Statistically speaking, after sex/infidelity, the next leading reason why there are troubles in many homes is poverty and lack of finances. When a man cannot take care of the financial responsibilities, love will wane from the wife and resentment enters. I can tell you for free that it is money that sustains love and it is money that sustains marriage, especially in Africa, forget whatever you are told, once there is no money in a home, there will be issues. As a man, once you are broke, your wife will resent you, your children will disrespect you, your in-laws will never regard you, and even your own family will treat you with utter disregard. This is why you should never dare think of marriage until you are self-sufficient and financially stable. As a man you have the advantage that even at the age of 40 or even 50 you can always get a wife in as much as you have the money. So why not wait, look for the money first and they get married later.
I’m tired of some of my married acquaintances asking me for handouts or complaining about how they are struggling to feed themselves and take care of their families but they are still making babies almost every year, giving birth to children with no hope of sustaining them. The one that pricks me the most are some of the folks I know that sometimes ask for loan or contribution for their wedding parties. If you cannot afford it, you do not need an elaborate wedding, cut your coat according to your size and don’t plunge yourself into debt just because you want to impress some bunch of strangers.
The moral lesson you should take away from this is; as a man do not think of marriage until you are financially stable, don’t bow to family or societal pressure, take your time and look for money first, when you have the money you can always settle down then, if you take a leap of faith and go into marriage poor thinking that you will survive it, you will likely suffer and your wife and children will resent you.
