Yes, I mean it. How you see yourself is how people see you. When you believe nothing moves without you, so it is. And if you also believe things move with you, so it is. People will try you. As a matter of fact, they will push you but your courage and determination will make them realize that they can try you but they can’t push you.
I always say that what you permit stays. Come to think of it, some things making you restless are not even up to your standard. In life, you come across people that may want to act like demigod over your life but the truth is – you permit it. With my experience so far in life, I discovered that when people discover your weakness, they capitalize on it.
Irrespective of what they do to you, you are not a pushover. Because a pushover is someone who never stands up for his own interests. He might be easily convinced to do something he doesn’t want to do, or he might be unable to put himself first, even at his own personal expense.
I always tell people that being kind is a necessary virtue and a quality proven to sustain long-term, productive and healthy relationships. However, there is a fine line between kindness and pleasing others. When you are pleasing others, you tend to have very few, if any, personal boundaries. That makes you appear weak to others. If there is one habit that will impede your success long-term, it is the habit of pleasing others – romancing someone else’s ego.
Pleasing comes from fear of being criticized and it is always accompanied by a lack of confidence. You become a pushover if you fear people’s judgment. Likewise, if you are not 100 percent cooperative or supportive or if you fear you will be seen as overbearing, domineering and disagreeable.
You are a pleaser if you consistently say – “yes” when you are to say – “no.” Most pleasers have learned to survive through placating others, and in doing this set themselves up to be treated without respect. In life and business, you cannot be taken seriously without a little determination to your personality.
4 ways to avoid being a pushover
- Be real: When I say be real, I mean you should be yourself. Make mistakes and don’t cover-up or fidget over it. After all, we are human. When you make a mistake, learn from it. Be true to yourself, not because of others but because of you. This way, you earn respect and avoid being pushed over.
- Learn to say No: I do say this all the time – ”what will be will be.” Don’t think it too hard. Let them look down on you for being firm and upright. Not all questions or request deserves a ”yes”. Say yes when you ought to and vice versa.
- Stop pleasing everybody: I mean this, the moment they discover your weakness they will crucify you for any little thing you do. But the moment you stop dancing to their tune, they change towards you. Be who you are. You are the CEO of your own life. Stop being a people-pleaser.
- Be bold: To avoid being a pushover, you have to be bold. Surely, people will test you with all sorts of things but your boldness will definitely show them who you are. If they push you over, you push them aside.