This is peculiar to Nigeria but I don’t know for other African countries.
When a lady graduates from the university and completes her NYSC Program, her parents start telling her indirectly to bring a suitor home. Even the society that knows about her upbringing or childhood days will remind her she’s getting old.
Likewise, when a brother gets a job or buys a car, the family starts to remind him that he needs a wife. Especially when they see him washing his clothes, they will say, “Bro Emeka, you dey wash your clothes, make you go marry o.”
Here’s my concern about this situation, does a man needs to marry because he is washing his own clothes or preparing his own meals. That’s the problem in African society. Some chores have been assigned to a particular gender. In the end, it makes no sense. It makes marriages become a necessity instead of choice.
There’s a stigma the society can put on you if you let them. I saw an Instagram post of a Nigerian actress, Dayo Amusa, she was venting her anger on people who have been questioning her being single and barrenness. She had to post this, ”Please, I am not married and I am not pregnant.”
I was surprised at how some people were publicly shaming her. Some told her she’s too fat and should be married. My question – what particular age should someone be married?
Till date, no one gave me a clear answer. This sums up everything about this article.
Will you let people be? Stop pushing our girls into an early and unprepared-for marriage. Marriage is not a lifetime achievement. Of course, it is a good thing but it should not be forced on anybody.
Many men and women had been made to look silly by the ”you must get married mentality.”
They rush into marriage unprepared and rush out abused.
Instead of pushing them into early marriage, empower them to be independent. Help them attain their goals in life. Don’t get me wrong, Marriage is good for those who are ready and feel they want it. But on no account should anyone be made to see himself/herself as useless.