Quote from Alex bobby on December 11, 2025, 8:52 AM

If the whirlwind of modern dating has left you feeling bewildered, disillusioned, or frankly, emotionally exhausted, you’re not alone. Every year seems to bring a new crop of bizarre, buzzy dating terms that attempt to capture the ever-evolving—and often frustrating—landscape of romantic relationships. And 2025 has been no exception.

Granted, the course of true love has never run smooth, but in the age of swipes, ghosting, and algorithmic matchmaking, it sometimes feels like dating has become less about connection and more about endurance. The digital era has given rise to new terminology that reflects not just behaviour’s, but the emotional toll of modern romance. The result? A glossary that is equal parts fascinating and depressing.

New terms and trends seem to appear daily, often capturing patterns of behaviour we may have noticed but lacked the vocabulary to describe. Take, for example, the work of Vogue writer Chanté Joseph, who recently went viral with her article “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” She explored how heterosexual women are increasingly avoiding showcasing their boyfriends on social media. According to Joseph, many women fear being perceived as “all about their man,” yet still want the social clout that comes with being partnered. She notes, “Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore. It is no longer considered an achievement, and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single.”

Joseph’s op-ed sparked heated discussions, highlighting how modern dating has become a minefield of social expectations, image management, and digital signaling. The growing complexity of relationships has given rise to a lexicon of new words, each attempting to capture the nuanced—and often frustrating—behaviour patterns that arise from our hyper-connected, app-driven world.

Some of the most talked-about terms include:

• Benching: When someone keeps you “on the sidelines” romantically—enough interaction to keep you interested, but never fully committing. It’s like being a substitute player in someone’s love life.
• Cushioning: Similar to benching, this involves keeping backup options in case your main relationship doesn’t work out. Think of it as emotional insurance.
• Shrekking: Named after the ogre, this is ghosting someone so brutally that it’s impossible to revive the connection—leaving them metaphorically in a swamp.
• Throning: When someone flaunts their single or partnered status in a performative way on social media, asserting dominance or desirability.

And the list goes on: “pocketing,” “cloaking,” “orbiting,” “breadcrumbing.” Many of these behaviour’s are not inherently new—they’ve existed in human interaction for decades—but the naming of these behaviour’s makes them feel more pervasive, more immediate, and sometimes more disheartening.

The underlying thread connecting these terms is the pressure of visibility in a social media-saturated world. Dating no longer exists in private; it is performed, curated, and judged. Every interaction has the potential to be documented, shared, or scrutinised, turning romance into a game of optics as much as a pursuit of emotional connection.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. Awareness of these behaviour’s can offer a form of empowerment. Recognising benching or cushioning allows people to identify when they are being undervalued or manipulated, and to take control of their emotional lives. The terminology also helps articulate feelings and experiences that previously went unnamed, offering a sort of linguistic therapy.

Still, there is a pervasive sense of fatigue. As dating becomes more gamified and transactional, many find themselves questioning whether the pursuit of love is worth the emotional energy. Social media, dating apps, and the hyper-awareness they foster can make romance feel like a high-stakes performance rather than a natural human connection.

Yet, it’s important to remember that despite the dark humour in these terms, the human need for intimacy, love, and companionship hasn’t disappeared. Technology and new vocabulary may complicate the process, but they haven’t fundamentally changed the desire for connection. Relationships have always been messy, confusing, and fraught with emotional risk—it’s only the context that has shifted.

Conclusion 
The growing glossary of modern dating terms—benching, cushioning, Shrekking, and beyond—paints a complex, sometimes dispiriting picture of love in the digital age. While these words reflect frustrating behaviours and societal pressures, they also illuminate the evolving ways people navigate romance, offering clarity and self-awareness in a confusing landscape. Ultimately, understanding these terms can empower individuals to set boundaries, recognise unhealthy patterns, and seek relationships that are authentic and fulfilling. Love may be complicated, but awareness is the first step toward navigating it wisely.