Most times, we are tempted to think that in life there is a particular way or ways things must be done, for you to achieve a particular result. This may be the truth when dealing with robots, machines or mechanical programs but it is not and haven’t yet been proven to be the truth with man. This postulation is not a negation to the fact that there are laws governing the natural strata, regulating the universe and maintaining the status quo but as far as human beings are concerned, humans are dynamic, unprecedented and spontaneous beings which react and respond to things according to their moods.
Little wonder why we hear things like, ‘I read a book on how to find and get married to my dream man and I applied the principles in the book to the later but it didn’t work for me’. Indeed, that helpless fellow will think that there are some mystical phenomena that are making the principles not to work for her. The person fails to understand that there’s no particular principle that has been proven to hold man to ransom. A popular saying goes that for the fact that it worked for A doesn’t mean it will work for B because according to the Christian book, ‘Time and chance happens to them all’.
There’s no justification other than attracting audience when people state categorically and make outright statements and postulations like, ’20 ways to talk to a lady and win her attention’, “10 ways to approach your job interviewer and get the job”, “Things you must do to save your marriage from crashing”, and the list goes on and on – 20 ways to approach a lady, 50 ways of talking to people, etc.
These authors and those guilty of these must be called to order because they have limited humans and made human beings appear to be robots and machines which the user guide must be applied so as to achieve the desired response from the robot or machine. While this will work for robots or machines because that’s how it has been programmed to respond to a particular command, and provide the anticipated response, it will not work for human beings because human beings are unprecedented, dynamic and spontaneous in nature and respond/react according to his/her particular mood at that point in time.
Using machines as an example, an ATM (Automated Teller Machines) has been programmed that for you to access it you must slot in your debit/credit card (i.e. for ATM that’s not programmed for cardless transactions), after you slot in your card, the ATM will request you input your pin, and you put in your pin, the ATM further request the transaction you want to make and give you the list of transactions you can only do with it and you click on the transaction you want to make, and on and on it goes until you are done with your transactions, and then take your card and walk away.
The point is you are only permitted to carry on transactions on the machine that the programmer has programmed the machine for, and you must obey the instructions to the latter in order to be able to carry out the transactions successfully. If you do not put your PIN correctly, you will be shut out; if you do not slot in your card, you won’t have access to the ATM; and if you delay in carrying out your transactions, you will also be shut out; and all these work that way because that’s how the Teller Machine has been programmed to work. It obeys the command and give the anticipated response only if you obey the rules, follow the process and task it to do what it has been programmed to do by the maker or programmer. The same narrative goes with other machines like cars, televisions, stereos, airplanes, pianos, phones and computers.
Can we say the same thing about human beings? Can we in every sense of reason that there is a user manual or guide that you must follow while dealing with a human being just like machines in order to arrive at a particular response pre-empted or anticipated. The answer is obviously ‘NO’ because human beings are dynamic, unprecedented, spontaneous and there actions and inactions are determined by moods, emotions and their predisposition at that time.
There has been instances where you will do what you think is the principle and it ends up not working out or giving you the predicted result; note to yourself that you are dealing with man and not robots. A HR in an organization tweeted that the reasons she didn’t give a job seeker the job is that the job seeker complimented her aura and said to her, ‘you scent nice’, while the job seeker will innocently think that since human beings love compliments and complimenting the lady that just interviewed him will grant him access to the lady’s soft side, but it turned out to be the worst thing he ever did, as the lady went hard on him, and made him feel stupid, and told him categorically that he has failed the interview for complimenting her.
It could even be that a friend told the job seeker to use compliments as a strategy to gain access to the soft side of the HR or maybe he read it in the books that for you to gain access to a lady you have to compliment he. Yet, it ended up not working for him as things went south. Many people would jump on the lady and call her a sadist and some did jump on the lady on Twitter calling her a sadist – a wicked HR. The fact remains that the lady reacted to the compliment according to her predisposition at that particular time . Another lady in different occasion who also happened to be a HR also tweeted that the single reason she gave a job seeker the job was that the job seeker complimented her dress, and that gave way chit chat and they both got along as friends.
The point here is that though we admit that there are principles governing lives and nature, man is dynamic, spontaneous and unprecedented hence every man should be followed accordingly . Before you formulate your rules or apply them to a particular man first ask yourself the mood that fellow is in at that moment and act accordingly while dealing with a person.