Anytime I have a reason to visit a federal government agency, ministry, or parastatal, it reinforces in me the unpopular belief that the Nigerian civil service is the most corrupt sector in Nigeria.

They are abysmally and irredeemably corrupt. 

Politicians cannot even compete or rub shoulders with most Nigerian civil servants when it comes to corruption and ineptitude. The Nigerian police pride themselves as the most corrupt sector but they are just notorious and good at displaying their own corruption; they should rather take a tour to a government agency or ministry or any government-owned business with a note and take some lessons. 

They are “all learners” when it comes to corruption. Most Nigerian civil servants, from the top to bottom are the kings of corruption but it seems we are not ready to have this conversation yet. 

A government that is serious about fighting back against corruption in Nigeria should pay more attention to the civil service. That sector is rotten and takes supernatural and brutal intervention to cleanse it. 

Civil servants openly display their corruption and ineptitude while letting you know that “that’s how it is done here”. 

A policeman or a politician may occasionally show some sense of remorse and have some sense of guilt when he is asking for some kick back but that is not for civil servants. Right from the gate of most government agencies, it’s all about extortion and brazen display of bribery because they believe that “that’s the modus operandi there” and if you do not settle you are not ready for business. 

From the gatekeepers manning the security posts feigning over-familiarity at visitors so as they can “drop something”, to the persons in the office you are going to meet openly asking you to “drop something” or “shake body” before they can grant you audience.

What irks me the most is that they do this brazenly with no sense of guilt as if they are doing the right thing. Fun fact; most of them actually believe they are doing the right thing by constantly telling visitors that “that’s how it’s done here”. 

Let me not even get started on the level of ineptitude that goes on in government agencies. Most employees of the government lack the basic skill, knowledge, or basic qualification to occupy the positions but based on favoritism and nepotism we have a lot of civil servants who can not even spell or write down basic English occupying high-profile positions in the civil service.

Should we rather talk about the fact that some civil servants turned their offices into actual marketplaces? If you go to some ministries, you will be shocked to see some staff of the ministry leaving their duty posts or offices to go and hustle their side businesses. Some of the staff even come to the office with a “side hustle”, some will be using their official desk to display their wares and haggle sales. Some sell peanuts, cakes, Chinchin, sachet water, chips, cold zobo, recharge cards, and all sorts of junk, while some display posters for their POS business inside the office and task visitors and colleagues to patronize them. In most government offices, you can no longer tell if you are in an office or inside Wuse Market. 

It is pathetic. 

It was the Nigerian civil servants that originated the popular parlance “dem no dey carry government work for head”. This is their mantra and they live by it. Little wonder that a civil servant will stay off work for days and he will be sure that by the end of the month he will get his salary in full with allowances. Those that come to the office will gather around and use office time to gist and gossip with colleagues while visitors that they need to attend to wait around. A woman in a government agency once told me; “Oga wait make I discuss finish then I will attend to you”. She’s asking me to hold on, for almost an hour while she chats and gists with her colleague on a matter totally unrelated to official work.

Should we talk about their level of nonchalance in attending to work? A civil servant will misplace an important file and nothing will be done to him. A civil servant has also told me one certain time, “we cannot find your file, you will have to go and bring another one”, with a dry face and no sense of remorse. 

Are we ready to have a conversation about how the secretaries of the “Ogas” act like mini gods? It doesn’t matter who you are or how important your matter is, if they don’t want you to see the Oga you will not until you “wet the ground”, “shake body” or “drop something” unless you have a personal relationship with the Oga.

If we are really serious about getting rid of corruption in Nigeria, the Nigerian civil service is the root and bane of it all and that is where a serious government should pay more attention to. They are highly corrupt, irredeemably corrupt and it requires a brutal cleansing to get rid of some of these bad habits. 

How can we maintain the same standard of living years after retirement? How do we ensure that we do not run out of cash and goodies of life when we are done running shops in Onitsha, working in big banks in Lagos, playing in sports teams in Kano, or running transportation businesses in Yola? The man nicknamed “king of money” in his active professional days is now a “beggar”, looking for handouts from friends and families. That must change across families and communities in Nigeria, through planning.

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