I grew up in an environment where mothers don’t have a say in the future of the children. Meaning, the fathers decide the children’s future. Whatever becomes of the children lies in the hands of fate.
Mothers can’t challenge the fathers’ authority. It makes me wonder if marriage in Africa is slavery. Are two heads not better than one?
When I was much younger, my dream was to become a writer through the art of storytelling.
My reasons were:
- I want to help companies present their brands into words or videos.
- I want to help them sell their products to their target audience without appearing like selling.
- It’s something I really love doing as I discovered most companies struggle when it comes to getting in front of their target audience.
My passion for storytelling got fueled up when I was awarded the ’Master of Riddles’ in my nursery school days. I was the only one who would be called on to tell stories to the whole school. That was more than money to me.
In my secondary school days, I wanted to go into the ‘Art Department’ because of my love for poetry and writing, but my father insisted I go to the ‘Science Department’, so I can become an Engineer.
However, I struggled throughout my secondary school days. I didn’t do well in my Physics and Chemistry as I would have loved. Those two subjects are the backbone of the Science Department. Although I did manage to pass them. Thanks to the late-night coffee and cramming. I bagged a weak credit in Physics and Chemistry.
Since I already knew what my father wanted, I obtained a JAMB form and applied for Mechanical Engineering course. I wasn’t admitted. I tried three more times but didn’t succeed. After three years of wasted efforts, I had to settle for Statistics at the Federal Polytechnic Ede, Osun. I graduated with Distinction (both at the OND and HND level)
After graduation, I couldn’t find my purpose in life. I was completely lost. I struggled to fit into the labour market. I spent two years in search of a job. When I couldn’t handle the heartbreak and disappointment of job search anymore, I quit and went back to my first love, “Writing”.
Through “Writing”, I had the opportunity to meet amazing people across the globe. I also got many job offers and even started an entrepreneurship journey.
“Writing” gave me money, a car and a house. It also put sumptuous meals on my table. I went from being broke and frustrated to working with top clients and companies in America, Canada and the UK.
What else could I have wished for?
My experience taught me nothing beats action taken by passion. Many are still living a borrowed life by trying to be what their parents want them to be. It’s time to break out of the old pattern of thinking. Yes, I mean to break free from it.
Break out of the old pattern of thinking: The old pattern of parenting is killing children’s dreams. It’s time to let the kids be whatever they want to be.
When I become a father, my job would be: to offer the much-needed support and encouragement for my children’s development. This can only be achieved when I know their strengths and weaknesses.
Most African fathers don’t really know much about their children. Perhaps, what they love doing. They are being subjected to the old pattern of parenting. How their parents raised them choosing everything. They never had a say because they’d be reprimanded for being disrespectful.
I have trained and mentored many job seekers through my digital skills courses and helped them to discover their purpose in life. During my time with them, I realized that many had been subjected to pursue a career their father had imposed on them. Through their father’s act, many dreams had been killed. Many were made mentally retarded and psychologically redundant. Many never got lucky to discover their purpose and never lived to their full potential.
I would appreciate if the African universities will offer courses in Fatherhood. We need to save the future generations and break away from that trend. Of course, I must note that mothers, in some homes, are not left out of this challenge of deciding their children’s careers by fiats.