I work hard to surround myself with people who are KIND, not just Polite. Polite people never like to offend, and most times, they end up never actually helping you to develop or get better. On the other hand, kind people respectively and constructively challenge, criticize, and admonish you – and in the process put you on the path to success.
Like on this social media feed, I rarely respond to comments which are all polite; statistically, I focus more on those which diverge from my thought processes. Why? In the age we are, it takes kindness to point out someone’s blind spots, and wherever you have such opportunities, put more effort to see if you can extract more insights from the person.
The person who agrees 100% with you by default, irrespective of the path you are taking, may seem to help you, but in the real sense, while making you feel great today (no disagreements), is allowing you to get lost in the future.
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Yes, count your blessing if your friends and associates are both #kind and #polite! You will likely win today and also the #future with their support.
Comment 1: It is kindness to point out someone’s mistake but do so with politeness.
It’s most effective when managers correct their subordinate in private.
By being polite to him, he won’t feel deprived of his dignity and he will easily accept the correction, a training that you have given to him.
Comment 2: When we mistake politeness for kindness, we lose sincerity. Politeness hides the truth to be nice and prevent confrontation. Kindness does not hide the truth but expresses the truth with care and sincerity.
100% agreement is not kindness, it’s toxic politeness.
Comment 2A: if one agrees with you on any given assertion you make (having nothing to correct you on, simply because they happen to have the same view on the subject matter), does that automatically qualify them as being polite as opposed to being kind? I don’t think so.
Comment 2B: Honesty does not mean that we cannot agree on issues 100%. Agreement based on fact is never wrong, but agreement to please is toxic politeness.
My Response: thanks. “agreement to please is toxic politeness.” That was my reference in the peace. Of course, we can all agree that 1+2 = 3. That is a fact of physics and life. But agreeing fact-free just to please is the issue here.
Comment 3: Nailed it. Ndubuisi. Sharing ‘Departures’ is essential for growth though people need to understand how to do it civilly. As you know from my own work Prof, if I can’t get enough healthy debate traction, I will produce content where I play ‘devils advocate’ even to my own views. ?
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