This no doubt sounds like the title of a best seller inspirational literature. It could. It is the story of how a young job seeker did not miss his lot by being emotionally intelligent by default in a scenario where most would be disappointed and bitter. I will make no attempt to define the term “emotional intelligence”; but would only go ahead to show how my new friend demonstrated it and got an unexpected reward.
It was the second day of our training after a full month of rigorous screening. Just before the first session of the day, the chief facilitator asked if Michael Ohimai was in the class. After identifying him, he was asked to share with us what happened on the last day of the interview for his batch.
Michael: ” After the interview, we were all asked to wait outside. A little while the door opened and one of the interviewers came out with a list and called out the names of those who were not selected and my name was called too. Yes, I was disappointed but I was also happy for those who made it. So, I took my time to congratulate them. Suddenly the door opened for the second time, and the same person that announced the list came out and asked, “Where is Michael?” That my name was erroneously included in the disqualification list.”
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I marveled. What he displayed was a rare leadership quality. I could relate because I went through exactly the same screening process albeit in a different batch. Immediately the names of the unsuccessful candidates were called, their countenances fell and without saying goodbye they left. Right from our first day, I befriended a lady; unfortunately, she was one of the unlucky ones that day. Before I could take a step to go and encourage her she turned her back and left. I believe the same played out in Michael’s group but he acted differently and this is the reason he is employed today.
My purpose for sharing his story is to make us understand that life can be beautiful for us when we live beyond self and bitter when we live for self. This is the principle of the “golden rule”. Hear Jesus Christ in Matthew 7 vs 12: ” Therefore whatsoever you desire for men to do to you, you shall also do to them, for this is the law and the prophets. “
I also benefited from the application of this rule recently. I have a job today because I sought the good of a friend who lost his brother in the last hysteria of xenophobia in South Africa. I wrote about it here. And also, with the help of a few coursemates, we raised some money for him. A dear and always supportive course mate, Ada Okwuobasi was surprised that I am still unemployed since January. After looking at my CV, she sent hers so I could use it to edit mine. Then she shared with some of her contacts until it got to another course mate Amarachi Onyemelukwe who then sent me a link for an ongoing recruitment in the firm she works in. With her guidance I succeeded. A bosom friend, Elochukwu Echesi got to know what I did for my friend, he commended me saying,”…Despite your unemployment and lack you could do such for another…” He said he would send me a token to manage myself and when the alert hit my phone, I was dazed: I had to write out the figures to grasp the amount. For the past ten (10) months my account had not received such.
The best example of the working of the golden rule was shown by the giver, Jesus Christ when He gave His life for the world and the Father rewarded Him as the LORD of the heavens and the earth.
In conclusion, when Michael and I set out to congratulate and help others despite our own needs, we never knew we were using the best strategy to change our circumstance. So, I urge you reading this to genuinely seek the good of others in this new year. Die to self. My efforts in seeking for a new job in 2019 yielded frustration. I sent my CV and well drafted messages to hundredths of HR practitioners on LinkedIn and about five (5) responded positively. Don’t do the same this year and expect a different result.
The ball is in your court. Take charge!