Zik, Mammywater and Nigeria Cock-and-bull Stories

Zik, Mammywater and Nigeria Cock-and-bull Stories

As kids we heard how Zik (Nnamdi Azikiwe) trapped and corked away ‘mammywater’ in a bottle, and how he could have released her on any slight provocation from any Nigerian and have the whole country overrun by River Niger. We also heard how Abubakar Tafawa Belewa would have enslaved Nigeria through tea-drinking because he didn’t know how to turn off some kind of automated tea-serving machine. We also heard that somebody nearly sold the whole country to some foreigners.

But as we grew older, we began to laugh at our infantile gullibility. But, given the things we hear and see in Nigeria, maybe we shouldn’t have laughed at all. Maybe, those stories were true, or could become true.

And so, you think Zik didn’t actually lock away ‘mammywater’ in a bottle? But, you live in a country where snakes and monkeys swallow millions of Naira!

And you still think it wasn’t possible that Abubakar Tafawa Belewa could have drunk away Nigeria’s future on tea when today we know that the budget for wine and other meals of some government quarters run into millions and billions of Naira.

And you think one or more persons couldn’t have sold off Nigeria, both land and people, when we could see how Nigeria, Nigerians and their future have been sold to some families, friends, cronies, western financial institutions, and possibly the Chinese .

For me, I have stopped doubting those incredible Zik-and-co stories. The only thing I do when I remember any of those stories is to thank Zik for his kind and self-restraining character at not releasing that mammywater and had us all wiped out of the face of the earth. I also thank God for sending Zik to the rescue of Abubakar, else every family in Nigeria would have long started washing plates in the 50’s and 60’s to repay our national debt. Not that the story is different today, but at least he helped to reduce our years of poverty, servitude and misery.

My brother, I have seen and heard so much in this country that some things have long stopped being jokes to me. Na my fault?

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