As an African and a proud Nigerian, I love the fact that we are always looking out for our family and friends. Ironically, an average African man has bigger responsibilities than the wealthiest man in the world, especially if he’s the first child. He is mandated to take care of his siblings and other extended family irrespective of his financial status. 

As much as this may sound good, however, it tends to demand too much from every African first child. The fact that they are the first child doesn’t make them the Messiah. African parents demand too much from their first child. Right from birth to when he gets old, he is always reminded of the responsibility he has to shoulder. 

There is this belief that he must lead by example. Although it is true, as the younger siblings are liable to copy him. But it is not enough to put a heavy responsibility on such a child. Because it makes him live all his life thinking about his family, and less about himself. Whenever he’s failing, he feels bad because he knows he’s not meeting standards. Many had been pushed into doing what they don’t intend to do because they fear their parents would tag them as a failure. They don’t want their parents to call and remind them of another first child doing better than them in the community. You know African parents are good at doing that. No wonder some ladies are skeptical when it comes to marrying a man who is the first child of his family. 

Enough is enough! 

Let every first child be. Let them work the best way they can. The messiah tag should be taken off their heads. Life is personal. Helping siblings should be willing and not mandated. When we put that responsibility on them at a younger age, we tend to make them desperate. I am not the first child of my parents but I can tell you from my experience. 

My parents demanded too much from my poor sister. When she’s running at her pace, they would complain. ”Is this how you will take care of your siblings?” They would say to her. She had to start running faster than her legs could carry her. 

My plea to every African parent, teach your kids to be responsible for themselves. Don’t put the burden of others on the first child. I understand our grandparents taught you that, but we can’t continue to apply a 100-year-old method in this new era. Things have changed and are still changing. It is your responsibility to look after your own children. It is your duty to teach them how to fend for themselves and not to depend only on the first child. Everyone has got his own life to live. 

Besides, what makes you think the first child would even be wealthier than his younger siblings? 

I beg to differ on this mentality. No first child chose to be first. It happened by chance, so they should not be made to pay for that. 

Live and let others live.

Listen, I owe nobody mentality is not going to work anywhere because there’s everything wrong with this kind of mentality, especially in a country like Nigeria.

Is it because of the fear of entitlement?

Yeah, we’re all trying to get rid of the gross sense of entitlement of the new age but this is not the way to go. Proponents call it, “instilling a mind shift” but I honestly do not believe this is the right phrase to put into anybody’s mind.

Trust me, a person who thinks nobody owes him anything has a high tendency to also believe he doesn’t owe anybody anything as well! Something like a tit for tat. Take it or leave it, we all can’t go with such mentality anymore. Enough is enough. 

That’s why we have a system of “unaccountability” in Nigeria. 

You vote in a government that feels there’s no need to provide you stable power supply, construct good roads, give quality education, good medical facilities, jobs creation, security and so on. 

Let’s delve into the work environment. The ”I don’t owe you anything mentality” strikes again. Employers don’t see anything wrong with treating their employees poorly. Most of them perceived to be doing the employees a favour because they feel they don’t owe them fair treatment. 

That is why jungle justice is still a thing because nobody owes citizens any fair hearing. Police brutality is the order of the day. The police are not ready to hear you. 

What about soldiers?

The greatest crime in Nigeria is to talk back to a soldier man. Even when you are innocent, you dare not speak back because he doesn’t owe you a fair hearing.

The motivational speakers will tell the youths boldly to “go and hustle” because, you know, Nobody Owes You Anything!

While this may serve as a push to struggle against all odds, let’s not forget that it is fueling a culture of not demanding for what’s due for oneself. A tradition of excusing bad behavior.

As they say, it takes two to tango. But how do two tango when they owe each other nothing. As much as the adage might be meant to motivate and promote self-independent, it is also constituting to the lack of proper accountability.

Do not be covered with such words. Boldly demand for what’s duly yours today. It is your right; not a privilege!

We all must be our brother’s keeper. A better Nigeria starts with proper accountability. This can only be achieved when every citizen sees himself as a giver. 

Remember, it is what you can do for your country.

Credit: Ginika Oluchi Okeke

This was my life in 2016. I woke up and felt very tired. I was hoping I would feel good. After all, I slept for almost 10 hours. For months, I would struggle to go to work and feel ill almost weekly. I was not ill enough to not go to work but I was always in pain and some degree of discomfort. I was thinking this was going to last for a while but after weeks and months. I decided to go to the doctor. This did not go as I expected. 

I was examined and diagnosed. I was not satisfied with the diagnosis. It was too vague. High Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol. It did not mean much to mean as it did not explain the nausea and bouts of sickness I was going through. But, taking the medication did brings some relief. But, it would come and go. After some months, it really went bad and I had to go to the hospital again. I had chest pain that I took it as angina. I had to go to the teaching hospital and find out what to do. I went to the hospital and was told to take some tests. The result was that I was pre-diabetic, hypertensive and, of course, had high cholesterol. The treatment involved medication and a visit to the nutritionist. I was told that I had to change my diet and eating habits. I had to be careful on what I choose to eat and how to prepare meals. At that point, I decided I had had enough.

I listened and I knew this was not for me. I couldn’t afford the time and money to change diet and follow the new regimen. I knew I would not be able to follow the directions as they wouldn’t follow my lifestyle. And finally, I just wasn’t convinced they knew what they were talking about. I couldn’t get a second opinion. So, I took the worst advice to try. I went on the internet. I have spent too much of my life on-line watching movies, reading websites, and playing games. But as always, when I was in bind, I turned to the internet for a solution.  This was obviously a bad and maybe arrogant idea. But, then again, I have history of bad life choices. So, I might as well be consistent.

My main source was YouTube and after weeks of viewing; my main interest was on diet and health. A new concept stood out: Intermittent Fasting. Fasting was always something I didn’t like. I like to comfort eat. When I am tired, I drink coke. When I am sad, I eat cake. But, I came across Dr. Jason Fung. He is a Canadian Nephrologist and runs a practice where he treats people with type 2 diabetes. Most of his patients recover from diabetes without taking medication. His main method of treatment is intermittent fasting. He focuses a lot more on the functions of the body especially how the hormones function. The main hormone insulin. Dr. Jason Fung pointed out something about insulin sensitivity. In summary, he said sugar does not cause diabetes. This was not surprising to me. But, what he made me realize was how hormones regulated the body and health. Ghrelin controlled appetite. HGH makes a person stronger and testosterone could be stimulated through fasting. This was intriguing to me as he showed how diet was more important than exercise. His books, The Diabetes Code and The Obesity Code showed the medical history that was not highlighted in the mainstream. He even went on to demonstrate how hospital food made people sicker. This took me aback a bit. But then it got worse.

I also read Nassim Taleb. He was famous because of his concept of “The Black Swan”. But, he also picks on medical dogmas that he thinks are misguided and sometimes malicious. He presented information that indicates that medical organisations take money from corporations such as Coca-Cola to spread bad information. He is also a big critic of Monsanto but that’s a topic for another day. Namely, the idea that sugar is more healthy than fat. This was easy for me to believe as many have said that. But, Nassim provides lots of supporting evidence that in my opinion, goes beyond reasonable doubt. Nassim also supports fasting which he asserts make one “Anti-fragile”. This is a concept in his book “Anti-Fragile’ that pushes some damage would be necessary to make one stronger. 

There was also some other people that I watched on YouTube or followed on twitter. I found their videos very well researched and they seemed very credible. Fledge Fitness, Dr. Eric Berg, What I’ve Learned, High Intensity Health, and Found My Health are really great channels. They provide a lot of information and interview guests that a lot of information that has strong scientific backing but for some reason are not in the mainstream. The main twitter accounts that had good information was Mike Cernovich and Scott Adams. These people help give the information context and perspective.

So, with the advice of Dr. Jason Fung, Nassim Taleb, Matthew Walker (having a least 8 hours of sleep), Dr. Robert Morse (eat only raw fruit and vegetables) Dr. Ken Barry (Keto and foods that suit you), Dr. Eric Berg, I started fasting. I started with breaking the fast at 6 pm and tried to do it every day. I was taking salt water during the day but I realized that was a bad idea and stopped. I found that fasting had the additional benefits that Dr. Fung mentioned. Fasting costs less because obviously you are not eating and does not need any preparation or equipment. I also was more focused as I was not thinking about breakfast or lunch. At night, I didn’t even need to eat that much. Sometimes, I fasted for 2 days and I felt good. But, sometimes, I could take a break and eat what I like. I found this gave me a lot of flexibility and extra time. I was able to prepare and use food as a motivation not a compulsion. 

A lot about fasting seems likes forbearance, hunger, some amount of pain, self-regulation and self-control. But, I think there is one thing that ties it all together and makes it easier and more manageable: Self Recovery. Most of time, it is the body that repairs itself. As opposed to medication or surgery, the body would repair and heal itself. I think it is vital to make this easier for the body to do. Fasting allows the body to full absorb and use the food that was eaten. It usually takes about 16-24 hours to do this. Given the gap in eating, the food is broken down and stored energy as fat is used through lipolysis. Lipolysis is used to mobilize stored energy during fasting or exercise. Another way is through sleep. Sleeping forms an important part of self-recovery. Deep sleep is where the tissue repair is done by the body. This is why sleeping 8 hours is key. Also, sleep helps to suppress appetite which makes fasting easier. This made it possible and easier for me to keep doing Intermittent Fasting regularly. After a year, I had to go to the hospital for a different reason. I had a boil and I had to see a doctor. 

Since, it was the same hospital and I had to take the same tests, I had to see the same doctor. He looked at my results. My BP was normal, my cholesterol was normal, and all my lipids were now good. I was no more pre-diabetic. He asked whether I was still doing my fasting routine. I said yes. He said I should stop it. That’s why I don’t listen to my doctor.

Competition in business is a thing that can’t be prevented, regardless of how tough it may be to get into a market. Irrespective of whatever wall were raised to discourage new entrants, existing firms, persons in a market or industry may enjoy the benefits therein for so long that another or others have not found sufficient motivation to alter existing order. Motivation here is taken to mean the inducement of prospective gains and capital and strategy. As soon as such incentives are discovered, a new order comes into existence.

One of the first shocks when a competitor comes into a market is that, the existing players realise it’s longer business as usual. Depending on the influence the new entrant can command, previous plans and strategies of existing players will need fine tuning, at best, for it to still be relevant or could become seriously unhelpful, at worst, raising the need to return to the drawing board and map out a new working plan to tackle the development.

A Case Study

It was near Christmas. Her business was booming and she was looking forward to a sweet huge season’s sales and the fat gains that come with it. She wasn’t expecting what she saw that day but to her surprise, she got to market that fateful morning only to discover that she’s no longer the only one selling onions in her line anymore. Her immediate next neighbour, who before then was basically into other food spices business, has added sales of onions too. The motive may not be far fetched. The neighbour too, probably wants a share of the season’s fat harvest.

With the new reality, doing business became such a nightmare for NG (abbreviation of real name) as can be seen in this her exact quoted words. “My annoyance was not that he added sales of onions to his business line. But, how he went about it was making things quite difficult for me. He will call the attention of a customer who is standing in front of my shop to his onions, narrating to the customer that the onions he offers for a price, is better, in quantity and quality, than the one they will buy from me for the same price. Practically, he was selling at a loss. I knew this even more than he knew it. For I have been in the business for many years. I lost some of my customers to him as a result. I didn’t want this to continue so I decided it will be OK to sacrifice my gain for the season, if that’s what it will cost me to make him leave sales of onions alone and focus on his other trade items. I was no longer comfortable with him selling what I sell in the same place.”

That was a real issue there. The difficulty lies in the fact that it’s not easy to know beforehand how everything will turn out. The relative strengths of competing parties could influence how things will turn out in the end. The amount each can command, the loss each is willing to incur, the knowledge of the primary competitors, how competitors deploy resources and knowledge at their disposal are important factors here too.

When waging a price war, it’s important to have an insight into what your competitor is up-to. Here, there are two categories. The first are those who came because of quick cash benefits and are therefore unwilling to risk more than a little tolerable losses. These group will withdraw when prevailing circumstances make it difficult for them to make gains. So rather than risk more losses than they can tolerate, they quit. In other words, those in this category are interested in immediate profit. When this is not forthcoming, it’s alright to call it quits.

The next category comprises of those who, in addition to the desire to make gains, are willing to pay the price, if short term profit is not feasible, to gain good standing in the market in the long run when they can be able to recoup their short-term losses. This often involves subscribing to loss-incurring short-term strategies, aimed at frustrating as many other competitors as possible, out of business. If these prove successful in the long run, the coast will be clear to make gains. The thing is, there’s a difference in the task demanded in each case.

Let’s get back to our case study. From the quote above, it’s clear that NG assumed that her neighbour belonged to the first category. Recall she’d said “It will be OK to sacrifice my gain for the season”. With these assumptions in mind, her task was to cause heavy erosion that will discourage his neighbour from the onion business: “the day I made up my mind to sacrifice my gain, I bought a bell ” [Chuckles] “it’s funny but it had to be. I brought it to market the following day. Trust what started happening from that time onward. I used the bell to attract customers attention. Doing so here gives customers the impression that you’re selling at a give-away price. And that’s what I was doing. Days ran into several weeks and we continued the unexpected ruin. Certainly, it was hard, those periods, to recover half the cost at which I bought a bag (of onion). This was not what I had seen coming. But I couldn’t risk stopping the madness until he stops selling. He was losing. I was losing. I lost so much but I had sources to keep things moving. My suppliers trusted me. When I offer to pay them later, they send me goods, without demanding immediate payment. I also was getting grants. In this way, I kept business moving while operating at huge losses. After a while, he stopped selling. But then, I had a weighty debt hanging on my neck…”

In this typical case of NG, she’d continue to operate to recoup losses and also make gains as long as others have not found sufficient enablement to join. What would have happened if the parties were willing to stretch the fight far into the future? The outcome is beyond this discussion. It may not however be as in the above case especially if the newcomer is willing to deploy massive capital that can help it to dare more than the existing party is willing to cope with.